A few poems

I decided in celebration of the school year coming to an end I would write a few poems for my blog entry this week. I'll start with some haikus about English class.

"This is my haiku
It is about English class
I'm a good student"

"Haikus are much fun
oops that was crappy grammar
hope my grade is good"

Now to move on to more advanced poetry, the rhyming kind.

"I wish that I knew how to dance,
but the best I can do is to prance,
I just flail around wildly,
amuse the crowd mildly,
the best part is my parachute pants"

As amusing as rhyming poems are, they're a bit juvenile for someone of my stature. I will move on to the truly advanced poetry.

This piece is called "Ode to a Movie Hero"

"Oh John McClain. You truly are the greatest of the heroes. You were the good guy in the Die Hard movies and you've protected the world many times. You've stopped evil Germans from taking all of America's gold. You've thrown an evil terrorist leader off of a skyscraper. If that isn't heroism then I don't know what is. Sometimes I wish I could be in a Die Hard movie so you could save me. Oh John McClain, please continue to keep us safe here on this great planet called earth. Oh John McClain."

That is poetry gold right there. Go ahead and publish if you want. But I better get all the money. What's that? You want more? All right, one more poem for you.

"Money is the only thing that matters. Kindness, love, and human decency take a back seat to it. Let's see love buy me a big house. Let's see kindness get a little girl a new pony. I've never seen human decency keep someones son out of a war. You need money money money. They say money can't buy happiness. Well it can buy pills that make you feel happy. It can cure terrible diseases, you don't think that those cured of cancer are happy due to money. Money is all you need. Money money money, it's the only thing that matters."

I hope you've enjoyed these poems, feel free to use them wherever you want as long as I get all royalties. I know you can't wait to post this gold. And if you want to print it out I'd be more than happy to sign it. In a few years my autograph will probably be worth thousands of dollars after all. Especially if I keep churning out these master pieces.